A version of this sermon was delivered at Temple B'nai Torah - A Reform Congregation in Wantagh, NY on Yom Kippur 5784
One of the questions I have been asked the most since my time away
this summer was how I got interested in glass.
The quick answer is that I was always a potter, working in clay, and one
semester there was not a pottery class offered that seemed interesting, so
instead I registered for a glass bead-making class. There isn’t a lot of carryover of skills from
one discipline to the next, but there is certainly a center part to a Venn
diagram between the two art forms.
As we were learning how to do this technique, the teacher asked the
class a question. Having smoothed the
outside of the glass bubble, he asked us what was happening on the inside after
we smoothed the outside. I answered that
glass is fluid, so if the outside is smooth, the inside must be as well. Makes sense.
But I was wrong. Just because the
outside is smooth, doesn’t yet mean the inside is. The ridges have only been smoothed on one
surface. To smooth out the inside
ridges, and then to get a clean, even glass bubble, it takes more than some
time in the flame. That’s only enough
for the outside. To smooth the inside,
you have to heat the bubble, blow into it to expand it, and then reheat it to
contract it. It’s the expanding and
contracting on the inside that ultimately smooths it out.
Smooth on the outside, rough on the
inside.
Easy to make the outside smooth, much
harder to care for the inside.
I think many of us can relate to this
piece of glass. We spend a lot of time
smoothing our outsides, or at least showing them off at their smoothest,
shiniest, cleanest, clearest. We don’t
spend nearly enough time caring for our insides, for our souls and spirits, our
neshamah, and from what I can see from our community and our society, the
effects have been detrimental, particularly to our mental health.
Before I go on, I want to clarify
some language I will be using. “Mental
health includes our emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It affects
how we think, feel, and act, and helps determine how we handle stress, relate
to others, and make choices.”[1] This is distinct from mental illness, which
encompasses specific, diagnosable medical conditions.[2] Mental illnesses should be thought of like
any other illness, but too often, they are not.
They are often not talked about, undiscussed, often evoking shame. Cancer affects the way your body functions
and causes abnormal cell behavior.
Mental illness is the same, just with different cells and different
behavior. How we understand and think
about mental illness ought to be equivalent to how we understand and think
about cancer.
Some mental health issues are brought
about by mental illness and genetics.
And some are based on other factors, like life experience, trauma, and
stress
Yes.
I see a therapist. Every
week. Almost every rabbi I know
Our tradition, while not silent on
issues of mental health, does not have a lot to go on. Like today, it seems that those who
recognized the necessity of caring for our spirits were too often in the
minority. A short quote from the Talmud
exemplifies this. [3] In Tractate Yoma, which is about Yom Kippur,
there is a section where two rabbis, Rabbi Ami and Rabbi Asi, are debating the
meaning of certain biblical verses. They
come to a verse in Proverbs and disagree as to how to understand it. Proverbs 12:25 reads: “If there is worry in a
person’s heart, let them quash it.”
Rabbi Ami reads the verse as written and explains that quash here means
to push the worries out of your mind with force. But Rabbi Asi says that the reading of the
verse is wrong. The verb at the end
shouldn’t be understood as quash, but rather, with a few changes to the vowels,
it should be read as: “If there is worry in a person’s heart, let them tell
others.” Commentaries explain what rabbi
Asi means. If there is worry or anxiety,
let them tell others of their concerns so that their anxiety will be
In 2020, one in five American adults experienced a mental health
condition. One in six young people
experienced a major depressive episode, and one in 20 people lived with a
serious mental illness. These numbers
are from 2020, and they either represent data from prior to the pandemic or
data which is skewed in some ways due to the quarantine and the way we lived in
that year.
Data has shown that mental health
struggles have increased. And I’m seeing
it in our community. It’s no surprise
that our collective mental health
This is a perfect example of why
Rabbi Ami was wrong. If all it took to
keep mental health struggles at bay was to be happy and push them out of our
minds, we wouldn’t be seeing what we’re seeing now, including increased levels
of anxiety and depression, up to 25% higher than before the pandemic, according
to the World Health Organization. We
also know that only about half of those who are struggling seek and then get
help. Some of this is about access, some
of it is about stigma.
When we came out of the pandemic, we
didn’t slow down either; we kept the new activities, and we added back in the
old ones. We traveled like never before;
we started projects on our houses. We
didn’t reflect. We didn’t mourn. We didn’t process. We didn’t talk. And now, we’re seeing the results. We were given the opportunity to slow down
and too many of us didn’t take it.
In addition to glass blowing, my
sabbatical truly taught me the importance of rest. We are here on Shabbat Shabbaton, the sabbath
of sabbaths, and a sabbath is meant as a day not of doing nothing, but of not
working, cooking, building, etc. As
Reform Jews, we have a looser interpretation of the Shabbat prohibitions, of
course. And at the same time, there is a
restorative power in putting all our worldly matters on hold for one day a week.
Shabbat is not a cure for mental
health struggles. But Shabbat can be a
form of self-care that
I am so grateful to the congregation for my sabbatical time
We spend so much time over these Days
of Awe thinking about cheshbon hanefesh,
the accounting of our souls. This is
meant to be a personal ledger of our deeds, so that we can reflect and turn
toward better choices where needed. In
addition to cheshbon hanefesh, I’d
like to suggest that today, we add one more accounting. On top of the bad deeds and good deeds today,
we ought to also engage in a cheshbon
haneshamah, an accounting of our spirits.
A mental health inventory, or self-check. And, like today’s atonement and teshuvah,
this is not a one-day-a-year activity.
Today sets the example.
Now, let me be clear, this is not about diagnosing anything. This is about check
So, let’s do it together, now. Close your eyes if you need to.
Over the last month:[4]
How has my sleeping been? Ha
How has my eating been? Have I lost my appetite? Have I been seeking comfort in food?
How have my relationships and
interactions with others been?
How has my temper been?
Have I had trouble concentrating?
Have I lost interest in things I
normally find enjoyable?
Any one of these for a few days, or
on occasion, is usually nothing to worry about.
Sometimes we feel sad or anxious.
Sometimes we are dealing with grief or trauma. Feelings like these are good and normal
reactions to the realities of life. But,
if you sense a difference in yourself, your habits, or your routines, and if
you notice that it’s lasting for more than two weeks at a time, it’s something
to notice and mention to your doctor, or your partner, or your parent, or your
child, or your friend, or your rabbi or cantor.
That is part of what we are here for.
No, I am not a mental health professional. But you know me, hopefully trust me, and you
know, especially now, that I do not judge and that I only seek to make sure you
get the right resources. We are lucky as
well that our Executive Director, Eileen, is a Licensed Social Worker. If you’d feel more comfortable with one
person over another, that’s ok. The
point is that you say something to someone before it becomes a crisis.
It’s up to us all to check on each other, too. Ask your friends and family how they are
doing. If you notice your partner or
your child staying in bed more than usual, or foregoing things they like to do,
ask questions and seek help together or on their behalf.
Our tradition understands that there is a connection between the
mind and body. At the very beginning of
our service, we opened with two blessings.
One was for our bodies, recognizing that the body is fragile and a
delicate system. If something doesn’t
work as it’s supposed to, we wouldn’t be able to stand before God. The second is for the soul, our neshamah. While our ancestors did not in this blessing include
language recognizing that our souls, even in their Divinely-given perfection,
can be troubled, we know and understand this to be the case.
Nothing can be made smooth without
work. If your insides feel rough, it’s
time to say something. On this day when
we recognize that we will have a hard time keeping our promises, as we sang in
our Kol Nidre, let us promise to do better when it comes to our mental health
G’mar Chatimah Tovah.
[3] BT Yoma 75a
[4] These questions are based on a list of
symptoms to watch for from the National Institute of Mental Health: https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/caring-for-your-mental-health
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