Erev Rosh Hashanah 5785/2024: Jews in America: What's Your Noun?

 Jews in America: What's Your Noun?

             My tour guide in Vilnius is named Daniel.  Easy enough to remember.  We meet just after a heavy downpour on the outskirts of what was the Jewish quarter of Vilnius, Vilna in Yiddish, in Lithuania, and also the ghetto.  This is the place around which my Sabbatical travels centered, and Daniel was going to teach me about it.  I’m here particularly to learn a little bit more about where my grandparents, Leo and Sheva, their names listed in our Book of Remembrance, had come from, and the world that they had grown up in.  That world is disappeared.  Daniel teaches me a lot about Vilnius before the war as we walk the narrow alleys of the old town.  There were times where half of the city’s population was Jewish, he said.  Imagine, every other person on the street speaking Yiddish. 

We pass by the building that used to house the Ramm Printing Press, one of the largest Jewish presses in the world, famous for typesetting the Talmud in the way we’ve been studying it ever since.  From this building, Jewish thought and religious texts were spread like never before.  In this building were also printed Yiddish literature, Chassidic teachings, and an occasional Socialist pamphlet.  What a world that must have been, the world that brought my grandparents to life.  A world where Jews mixed and mingled with the society around them, and lived as Jews outwardly.  A world in which they were the society at large, and maintained connection to their identity, though not all in the same way.  Only remnants can now be seen, echoes of a distant past.   A street named for the Jews.  Faded shop names in a Yiddish that now almost no one on the street speaks or understands.

            Though I am certain I mentioned it, and it’s clear in my email signature, I learn at the end of my tour that Daniel didn’t know that I was a rabbi.  Which helps explain why he was somewhat taken aback at some of my questions as we meandered the cobblestoned streets and passed where the great Synagogue had stood, now a construction site awaiting possible rebuilding.

He seems a bit flummoxed when I ask him, because I am a rabbi after all, to define his Jewish identity for me.  He doesn’t seem to understand the question.  So, I elaborate.  “How do your Jewishness and your Lithuanianness work together?”  He shares with me that it’s complicated and that for him, they are two separate parts of who he is.  In fact, he moved to Israel when he was in his 20s, and gave up his Lithuanian citizenship, and now if he wants it back, he has to forfeit his Israeli citizenship.  The two cannot coexist, he seems to say.  And, he doesn’t have a problem with that, because in many ways that’s how it has always been: The Jews of Europe, no matter how integrated, no matter what percentage of the population, no matter how many shop windows were in Yiddish, were almost always other.

I don’t know why I asked Daniel that question right there, but I’m grateful he answered me and took me seriously, because I think that this personal heritage and history tour gave me an opportunity to reflect on my own identity in the face of my personal history.  Jewish Identity and what it means has been an interest since before I was even considering the rabbinate.  My Master’s Thesis was predicated on interviews of eighth-graders asking them about their Jewish identity.  Among the questions I asked my eighth-grade subjects was a question that I had been grappling with myself at the time, and which I imagine is also on many of our minds as well, as we navigate the interesting times we’re living through.

So, I’d like to ask all of us tonight to think about and answer for ourselves the following.  If you had to define yourself, would you say that you are a Jewish American or an American Jew?  Would you say that you are first and foremost an American or first and foremost a Jew?  I do recognize that among us are family and loved ones who are not Jewish, and so I ask for you to think about this question and how you would define someone in your life.  American Jew, or Jewish American?  What’s the difference?  As I see it, following standard grammar, it’s a question of which is your noun and which is the modifier?

Perhaps for you there is no distinction between the two.  The way I understand it, it’s the question of whether we feel that we are Americans who happen to be Jewish, the same way that our neighbors are Americans who happen to be Catholic.  Or are we Jews who happen to live in America the way we’ve lived in other places before?  Where does one part of our identity begin and the other end?  Can we, and do we, find balance between the two?  Has that balance changed in the last number of years?  Has that balance shifted for us since October 7?

Some of us had maybe thought for some time that we were Jewish Americans.  The last number of years, with the Tree of Life shooting, the Charlottesville rally, and the ugly antisemitic responses to the ongoing wars in Israel maybe made us feel more like Jew was our noun. We sense the increased antisemitism, and we feel it.  I’ve spoken from this bima before about the rising antisemitism coming at us from all sides.  This past year especially has forced us to ask whether this is the new normal: additional security assessments and hired guards just to send our kids to school.  We’re right to be skittish.  We’re right to be vigilant.  We’re not right to give up on Judaism in America.  And we’re not right to give up on fighting for the kind of America that made this nation a haven and a home for Jews unlike any history has ever seen.

This past year has seen much handwringing about the state of American Judaism.  In The Atlantic, Franklin Foer describes it as the end of the Golden Age of Jews in America. 

“America’s ascendant political movements—MAGA on one side, the illiberal left on the other—would demolish the last pillars of the consensus that Jews helped establish. They regard concepts such as tolerance, fairness, meritocracy, and cosmopolitanism as pernicious shams. The Golden Age of American Jewry has given way to a golden age of conspiracy, reckless hyperbole, and political violence, all tendencies inimical to the democratic temperament. Extremist thought and mob behavior have never been good for Jews. And what’s bad for Jews, it can be argued, is bad for America.”^[1]

Joshua Liefer’s hot off the press book Tablets Shattered describes what he calls the end of An American Jewish Century.  “It is…no surprise that the prevailing emotions of contemporary American Jewish life are anxiety and division.  American Jewish life is marked more by conflict than consensus than at any point since the first half of the twentieth century because the foundations of American Jewish life that were built in the last century have begun to crumble.”^[2]

Liefer here, and Foer in his article, look to the declining role of major Jewish institutions in America, like Federations and Jewish denominations, including the Reform movement, which have sizable endowments, and declining influence and membership.  On a smaller scale is the synagogue, with overall declining numbers of members and more mergers and dissolutions.  Foer and Liefer also put much emphasis on shifting and diminishing connections to Israel and Zionism.  They see it as on par with a crumbling institution in terms of the influence on the Jewish American community.  The rocky foundations were made evident on October 8.

I’m curious if Liefer considered subtitling his book “The End of a Jewish American Century.”  Either way, both of these works see the changes in American Judaism as indicators that we cannot trust that the life we have lived as Jews in America will continue in the same way.  On this I agree.  And, I believe that it will be the Jewish community’s ability to recreate itself which will hopefully give rise to a new Jewish American Century.

Nowhere in history, until the establishment of Israel, have Jews been able to even ponder that question that I asked us all to consider.  When Napoleon emancipates the Jews they must declare on oath that they are French first.  When Germany emancipates the Jews, many find that the only way to true equality is through conversion to Christianity.  My tour guide Daniel certainly couldn’t conceive of being a combination of Jew and Lithuanian.  And yet here, though imperfect, Jews have been able to ascend the social ladder in business, politics, and media in unprecedented ways.

We are a people of hope and a people that no matter the circumstances have always been able to adapt.  Though my trust in this nation has been shaken over the last years, I have come to disagree with my friends who say America and the West are completely lost and the only future for Jews is Israel.  I still believe in America, a nation as hopeful as our people.  A nation, like Judaism, which asks us to live up to high ideals.  It is these democratic ideals of this great nation, the norms established through fight and protest, and the expanding of rights to broader and broader groups of citizens which are the bedrock of why America has been different. 

We ought to pay attention when those norms are challenged.  We ought to pay attention when the liberal “small-d” democratic order is strained by those who would not agree to play by the rules, or who believe the rules don’t apply to them, or who fix the rules or the referees in their favor.  This is a danger to Jews in America because it is a danger to America.  We ought to pay attention and speak out when politicians use antisemitic images in mailers or mainstream antisemitic ideas.  We also ought to pay attention and call out when tactics that have been used against Jews in the past are used on other groups, accusing them of spreading disease, stealing jobs, or being responsible for missing pets or people. 

Things are also not always as bleak as they may seem, and it would be a disservice to our history to not acknowledge that though there are many, many faults and much work to do, America has made significant progress.  Earlier this year, Rabbi David Wolpe offered the following anecdote, imagining a conversation with his great-great-grandfather. “Great-great-grandfather,” he says, “There are antisemites at Harvard!”  The reply: “There are Jews at Harvard?”  “Yes, but some of them hate Israel.”  “There’s an Israel!”

Living outside the Land and now the State of Israel, there are what my friend Rabbi Josh Franklin describes as two reactions, each based in the Babylonian Exile.  When in the 6^th century BCE, some 2600 years ago, our ancestors were sent away from their home by force, the Psalmist, as one reaction to the new reality, records that they offered a song of lament:

“By the rivers of Babylon, there we sat, sat and wept, as we remembered Zion.  There on the poplars we hung up our lyres, for our captors asked us there for songs, our tormentors, for amusement: “Sing us one of the songs of Zion.” How can we sing a song of Adonai on alien soil?  If I forget you, O Jerusalem, let my right hand wither…”^[3]

The attitude expressed here in Psalm 137 is one of defeat, destruction, and exile.  One of being forced to give up traditions and worrying that a connection to the past, to that which provided a sense of identity and place would be lost.  In the aftermath of these last years, we can mourn, we can bemoan our lot, we can hang up our instruments and await redemption.

The second is a reaction like the prophet Jeremiah who, witnessing and living through the exile, offers the people the following advice from God:

Build houses and live in them, plant gardens and eat their fruit. You should take wives and give birth to sons and daughters; and you should take wives for your sons, and give your daughters to husbands, that they may bear sons and daughters. Multiply there, do not decrease. And seek the welfare of the city to which I have exiled you and pray to Adonai in its behalf; for in its prosperity you shall prosper.”^[4]

We have experience living a Jeremian lifestyle.  In America’s prosperity, the Jewish community has prospered.  In America’s freedom, Jewish communities have been free to evolve, develop, improvise and experiment, to become less insular, or more. 

Additionally, Jeremiah teaches us that we are supposed to do two things, seek the welfare of the place and pray to God on its behalf.  We are accustomed, at least on the High Holy Days, to offering a prayer for our nation, though our Siddur does include it in its Shabbat section, and most siddurim around the world include a prayer for the government.

Prayer without action, we know, is in vain, which is perhaps why God first says to seek the welfare of the city: Doresh et Shlom ha’ir.  Seek the peace of the city.  Work toward peace, do what it takes to make the nation in which you live the best it can be, the most open to difference, the most tolerant, the most fair, the most merit-based, the most open to creativity, the most open to dissent, and the safest for all its inhabitants.  In this nation, we don’t just work toward it, we get a say, we get a vote.  We can use what we know is good for the Jews to make decisions about who will lead this great nation that allows us to hold on to both our Jewishness and our Americanness with pride and with a sense that they belong together, not bifurcated, not split from each other, not in opposition to each other.

It’s the end of my tour with my guide Daniel, and we are back in the center of old Vilnius, just a block from my hotel.  The skies have cleared.  The restaurants dry off their chairs and tables out in the plazas, awaiting the tourists for dinner.  I thanked Daniel for the wonderful tour and the good conversation.  I wish him well and take a moment to reflect on the history I have seen.  And as I look around, I imagine what it might have been like  for my grandparents, and their families and friends to have lived in this place.  And I wonder how they would have defined themselves as they walked these very streets.

Shanah Tovah.

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^[1] https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2024/04/us-anti-semitism-jewish-american-safety/677469/

^[2] Liefer, Joshua. Tablets Shattered. Dutton, USA p 17.

^[3] Psalm 137

^[4] Jeremian 29:5-7

Rosh HaShanah 5785/2024 - A Community of the Shofar

 A version of this shofar was offered at Rosh HaShanah morning 5785 at Temple B'nai Torah - A Reform Congregation in Wantagh, NY.

The Community of the Shofar

As I began to speak about last night, and as you will hear more about over the course of these holidays and this year, this past summer, my sabbatical was, in part, a heritage tour.  I went to go see where my family comes from, specifically Lithuania and Germany.  During the month of making my way from Germany through Latvia and Lithuania, Finland, Estonia, and Poland, I saw powerful memorials to Jewish communities of the past. I stood in places of terrible atrocity, the kinds of actions that define the oft-repeated “man’s inhumanity to man.”  I stood in places that my grandfather may have stood and looked upon vistas that would have been familiar to him.  I walked through concentration camp gates, the same gates my grandparents would have walked through.  I went to almost any Jewish museum  I could find to try to see the faces of my ancestors.  I prayed joyfully in synagogues with active, if small, communities, and pensively in synagogues without communities, the refurbished buildings monuments to a people present now only in memory.  Each of these experiences stays with me and could, and probably will, open up to a sermon on its own.

Of all the places I went, of all the experiences I had, of all the beautiful and painful and surprising moments of this long tour, of the many miles I walked inhaling the breath of these places, if I had to say, probably the most powerful and spiritual experience for me was getting to see Taylor Swift in concert in Warsaw…

            It was an impromptu opportunity that I hadn’t planned on.  I landed in Warsaw, heard she was there, got on my phone, and bought a ticket for that night.  And my goodness am I glad that I did!  Because I’m not kidding you about the spiritual nature of the experience. 

            On my way in to the massive stadium, I stood in line next to a couple from DC, celebrating their first anniversary.  We chatted as we waited to walk through security.  And then on the way in, we were all handed a bracelet with light up LEDs. Just before the concert begins, we all activate the bracelet, and suddenly, we are no longer a disparate group of concertgoers from across the world.  Everyone’s bracelet worked with everyone else’s to turn the crowd into a part of the show, a luminous backdrop all around.  The lights changed color, sometimes in unison, sometimes choreographed or in undulating patterns, always tied to the beat, always setting a mood, from all of our wrists.  I only made small talk with the two young women who sat next to me, this strange, American man by himself at the Taylor Swift Concert in Warsaw.  And though no one gave me a friendship bracelet, I felt the power of being a part of something bigger.  It was the power of community.

            Maybe it was because I had just toured a series of communities that used to be, having already seen Vilnius and Kovno, that I needed a sense of belonging.  Maybe it was touring the destroyed communities in Israel last winter, and then seeing the playbook for what was done on October 7 all across Europe, that demanded some kind of remedy to the isolation that comes form being the only one at the Vilnius Holocaust museum, or the only one at the Riga Jewish Museum, home to perhaps the most beautiful stained glass Shma I’ve ever seen.  Maybe one other person saw it that day or that week.

            For almost three weeks I had been traveling by myself surrounded by the memory of our people, and suddenly here I was surrounded by lots and lots of people, living people, singing people, dancing people, people of all ages excited to be there.  The sense of joy was palpable from all directions and from all present.  I was enthralled and transported, radically amazed, by the sense of togetherness, and how restorative that was for me.  Taylor really can do everything.

            My friends, we have been carrying so much this last year, as Jews and those who love us.  We have been carrying a year’s worth of grief, a year’s worth of suspicion, a year’s worth of security bills, a year’s worth of division and fighting for our existence and right to self-determination, a year’s worth of images of suffering, a year’s worth of praying for a war to end that won’t and for people to come back home that don’t, a year’s worth of fighting, a year’s worth of mourning.  5784 will not be recalled as the best of times for the Jewish people.  And we’ve just made it through. 

This litany doesn’t of course factor in those many of us who lost someone close to us, or suffered illness, or disappointment, ruptures of relationships among families and friends.  For many, grief is compounded.  And while I cannot speak to whether 5785 will be the good year that we pray for on these holiest of days, I do know that at least for the short term, the images won’t be any easier to see and the news won’t be any easier to watch.  I pray with complete faith that 5785 will be the year that our dreams and hopes for peace may be realized.  And in the same way that I know that I won’t keep all my promises to God in the New Year, I know that not all my prayers will be answered, and I fear that this will be one of them.  It can be overwhelming.  Enough to give up.

What has given me, and I think many of us, strength over the last year is our community. In the midst of war and death and hatred and difficulty, in the midst of the isolation so many feel, we look around and see life, friendship, learning, and connection to traditions that have held us together for thousands of years. Community heals.  Community supports.  Community backs you up. 

As we make our way into the new year, with blessings of goodness and sweetness, let us feel the comfort in the community that is around us.  May the sense of goodness and togetherness we feel right now call us all to deeper engagement with our Judaism and our Synagogue community in the coming year, no matter what it brings. 

The Hebrew word for community is kahal, related to kehillah.  This root appears many times in the Torah.  The root itself is related to other ancient roots meaning assembly.  The origins of the word, however, are up for scholarly debate.  Some say that it’s related to a word for reproof, or rebuke.  Others however see in kahal the weak middle hey, which historically was often interchangeable with the vav. When replaced, we get kol, the word for voice or sound.  These scholars believe that the word for community derives from a word for the sound that would have been made to call the community to assembly.  In ancient days it would have required a loud instrument to call folks together from distant places.  What was the instrument of choice?  A shofar.

The shofar is commanded in the Torah as this day is defined with the words yom teruah.  Usually translated this means a day of blasting the horn.  Most of us know this word teruah as the third of the shofar blasts, the nine short blasts.  Yet, as much as this word can be translated that way, it can also mean joyous celebration.  The shofar calls us to celebrate our new year, and the way that comes about is through the assembling of the community. 

The shofar was a call to community in our past.  Today, hear its voice and let it call us to community again!  Let it call us to the healing that comes from togetherness and commonality.  In a few moments, and I promise, just a few, Cantor Timman will chant for us all the beautiful blessing for the sounding of the shofar.  The blessing is not on blowing the shofar, but on hearing it.  In order to hear the shofar, you have to be present.  Officially, you can’t hear it through a speaker or hear its echo and consider your obligation fulfilled.  You have to come to the place where the shofar is being blown and hear the actual sound.  The central commandment of Rosh HaShanah is to come together to listen to an instrument that tells us to come together.  I don’t know if God could be more obvious!

Because the sounding of the horn is a commandment from the Torah, we have the blessing formula: Asher kidshanu bemitzvotav, vetzivanu lishmo’a kol shofar.  We bless God who commands us to hear the voice of the shofar.  Kol shofar.  Let the voice of the shofar also inspire us to be a kahal shofar, a community of the shofar.  A community called by the shofar to be together.  A community called by the shofar to experience all the ways that community can be a salve to the many hurts we carry with us into this new year.

In her beautiful book The Amen Effect, Rabbi Sharon Brous, explaining the role of showing up, notes: “We experience, innately, joy at another’s joy, wonder at another’s wonder.  We have the natural capacity to be energized and inspired by someone else’s dream fulfilled, even when our own hearts are broken.”[1]  As evidence of this, she cites studies from the 1990s that resulted in the discover of mirror neurons.  As Rabbi Brous tells it:

[R]esearchers in a neurophysiology lab in Italy were studying neuron activity in monkeys.  At some point, one of the researchers took a break to grab a gelato, as one does in Italy.  As he began to eat, sitting across from his monkey subjects, he was stunned to see that the neurons in the pleasure center of the monkeys’ brains were firing…not because they were eating something delicious, but because they were watching him eat something delicious.[2]

We are a synagogue filled with joys, as young people are called to Torah, as they are named on our bima, as our students share their learning.  We are a community filled with joy as we celebrate our festivals and honor our members.  Being a member of a shofar community means you can come and experience that joy, too!

The shofar represents hopes for moving past violence, for putting down the weapons we wield.  In the Akeidah story we heard chanted so beautifully earlier, it ends with Isaac being saved from death by his father, and in his place the two sacrifice a ram.  The shofar, often a ram’s horn, reminds us of this story.  The ram steps in, as Amichai calls him, as the hero of the story, preventing the death of Isaac, an innocent child who didn’t even know what was going on.  I pray that these calls of the shofar may elicit the same in the new year.  May weapons be put down, may the instinct toward violence be abated.  May the innocents be spared.

The calls of the shofar move from the tekiah to the shevarim and teruah, and always back to the tekiah, from a whole note, through a series of broken notes back to a whole note.  No matter how broken things may feel, there is hope for wholeness, for shleimut, for shalom.

Sadly, I can’t afford to take us all to hear Taylor swift’s voice, and to feel the energy of that communal experience.  But man, do we have awesome shofar blowers here, ready to help you fulfill your obligation to hear the voice of the shofar.  And man, do we have an awesome community here, worthy of sharing joys and leaning on each other when times are tough.  The blasts of the shofar are next.  Our sacred duty to proclaim the new year will be fulfilled, that’s to be sure.  The sounds of the shofar will resonate through our ears and into our souls.  May the calls bring us only goodness and sweetness in the new year.  May the calls inspire us all to seek out the blessings of being a community of the shofar, called to goodness and justice and togetherness.  May the calls bring us all back to wholeness such that when we blow these horns one year from now, we may look back and revel in a year of togetherness and a year of peace.

Amen.

Shanah Tovah!

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[1] Brous, Sharon. The Amen Effect. Averly Publishing, 2024.  p. 11

[2] Ibid. p 12

Yom Kippur 5784: Cheshbon HaNeshamah - A Mental Health Accounting

A version of this sermon was delivered at Temple B'nai Torah - A Reform Congregation in Wantagh, NY on Yom Kippur 5784

One of the questions I have been asked the most since my time away this summer was how I got interested in glass.  The quick answer is that I was always a potter, working in clay, and one semester there was not a pottery class offered that seemed interesting, so instead I registered for a glass bead-making class.  There isn’t a lot of carryover of skills from one discipline to the next, but there is certainly a center part to a Venn diagram between the two art forms.  And that’s the coil pot.  Some of you may have to think back to elementary school to remember, but this is where you make a snake of clay and coil it up to make a pot.  It’s a similar process in glass.  Holding it above the fire, you melt a rod of glass by feeding it into the flame and coil it upon itself, attaching it to one end of the hollow glass tube you have in your other hand.  First you make the rings bigger, then smaller until you’ve created a ball shape.  Using the flame, you smooth out the ridges from the coil.  Now you’ve got a glass bubble on the end of a hollow tube you can form, shape, and sculpt.

As we were learning how to do this technique, the teacher asked the class a question.  Having smoothed the outside of the glass bubble, he asked us what was happening on the inside after we smoothed the outside.  I answered that glass is fluid, so if the outside is smooth, the inside must be as well.  Makes sense.  But I was wrong.  Just because the outside is smooth, doesn’t yet mean the inside is.  The ridges have only been smoothed on one surface.  To smooth out the inside ridges, and then to get a clean, even glass bubble, it takes more than some time in the flame.  That’s only enough for the outside.  To smooth the inside, you have to heat the bubble, blow into it to expand it, and then reheat it to contract it.  It’s the expanding and contracting on the inside that ultimately smooths it out.

           Smooth on the outside, rough on the inside. 

           Easy to make the outside smooth, much harder to care for the inside.

           I think many of us can relate to this piece of glass.  We spend a lot of time smoothing our outsides, or at least showing them off at their smoothest, shiniest, cleanest, clearest.  We don’t spend nearly enough time caring for our insides, for our souls and spirits, our neshamah, and from what I can see from our community and our society, the effects have been detrimental, particularly to our mental health. 

           Before I go on, I want to clarify some language I will be using.  “Mental health includes our emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It affects how we think, feel, and act, and helps determine how we handle stress, relate to others, and make choices.”^[1]  This is distinct from mental illness, which encompasses specific, diagnosable medical conditions.^[2]  Mental illnesses should be thought of like any other illness, but too often, they are not.  They are often not talked about, undiscussed, often evoking shame.  Cancer affects the way your body functions and causes abnormal cell behavior.  Mental illness is the same, just with different cells and different behavior.  How we understand and think about mental illness ought to be equivalent to how we understand and think about cancer.

           Some mental health issues are brought about by mental illness and genetics.  And some are based on other factors, like life experience, trauma, and stress, or you know - a global pandemic.  Struggling with mental health, even if it’s not mental illness, affects our actions, our reactions, and our relationships.  It is real, and it is becoming more common, and it is necessary that we talk about it in a real way, without shame, and without feeling the need to whisper.  Seeking help for mental illness is a good and important thing.  Seeking help when we’re struggling with our mental health is a good and important thing.  At least that’s what my therapist tells me.

           Yes.  I see a therapist.  Every week.  Almost every rabbi I know does.  It’s an important place for me to process what has been going on and get a regular insight into how things are going for me, on the inside.  I know and I have experienced how the insides can be rough, even when the outside is shiny and slick. 

           Our tradition, while not silent on issues of mental health, does not have a lot to go on.  Like today, it seems that those who recognized the necessity of caring for our spirits were too often in the minority.  A short quote from the Talmud exemplifies this. ^[3]  In Tractate Yoma, which is about Yom Kippur, there is a section where two rabbis, Rabbi Ami and Rabbi Asi, are debating the meaning of certain biblical verses.  They come to a verse in Proverbs and disagree as to how to understand it.  Proverbs 12:25 reads: “If there is worry in a person’s heart, let them quash it.”  Rabbi Ami reads the verse as written and explains that quash here means to push the worries out of your mind with force.  But Rabbi Asi says that the reading of the verse is wrong.  The verb at the end shouldn’t be understood as quash, but rather, with a few changes to the vowels, it should be read as: “If there is worry in a person’s heart, let them tell others.”  Commentaries explain what rabbi Asi means.  If there is worry or anxiety, let them tell others of their concerns so that their anxiety will be lessened.

           Many centuries before Freud, Rabbi Asi seems to understand the importance of processing and talk therapy.  But in order for Rabbi Asi to get there, he has to change the plain meaning of a biblical verse.  And, the rabbis are not piling on in agreement.  Rabbi Ami seems to think that all it will take to rid someone of their anxiety is to tell them to stop being anxious.  Rabbi Ami is wrong.  Anxiety and mental health struggles are not overcome by will and trying harder.  To think so is like thinking that you can just will away cancer. 

In 2020, one in five American adults experienced a mental health condition.  One in six young people experienced a major depressive episode, and one in 20 people lived with a serious mental illness.  These numbers are from 2020, and they either represent data from prior to the pandemic or data which is skewed in some ways due to the quarantine and the way we lived in that year.

           Data has shown that mental health struggles have increased.  And I’m seeing it in our community.  It’s no surprise that our collective mental health and wellbeing  have declined over these last years.  We spent 13 months in full fight-or-flight mode, but we couldn’t fly anywhere, so all we had was the tension of fight mode.  Fight mode is not supposed to last that long.  While we were at home, we didn’t slow down, really, we just adapted, and we added new activities.  What has been interesting to note as well is that the full psychological effects of the pandemic seem to be delayed.  I surmise this is probably because in the immediate aftermath, we were all just so happy to be out of the house and back with people, with our friends, family, and community, that the joy of relationship and connection overshadowed and distracted us from            focusing on what we had been through. 

           This is a perfect example of why Rabbi Ami was wrong.  If all it took to keep mental health struggles at bay was to be happy and push them out of our minds, we wouldn’t be seeing what we’re seeing now, including increased levels of anxiety and depression, up to 25% higher than before the pandemic, according to the World Health Organization.  We also know that only about half of those who are struggling seek and then get help.  Some of this is about access, some of it is about stigma.

           When we came out of the pandemic, we didn’t slow down either; we kept the new activities, and we added back in the old ones.  We traveled like never before; we started projects on our houses.  We didn’t reflect.  We didn’t mourn.  We didn’t process.  We didn’t talk.  And now, we’re seeing the results.  We were given the opportunity to slow down and too many of us didn’t take it.

           In addition to glass blowing, my sabbatical truly taught me the importance of rest.  We are here on Shabbat Shabbaton, the sabbath of sabbaths, and a sabbath is meant as a day not of doing nothing, but of not working, cooking, building, etc.  As Reform Jews, we have a looser interpretation of the Shabbat prohibitions, of course.  And at the same time, there is a restorative power in putting all our worldly matters on hold for one day a week. 

           Shabbat is not a cure for mental health struggles.  But Shabbat can be a form of self-care that can help stabilize our mental health, even as our lives continue to be stressful.  Rest is self-care.  Setting boundaries at work, like “I don’t respond to emails on Saturday,” is a form of self-care.  Recognizing our blessings and God’s presence in the world, allowing ourselves to experience awe, is a form of self-care.  Sharing a meal with others and singing together is a form of self-care.  Going for a walk is a form of self-care.  Shabbat can allow all parts of us to rest.  Shabbat allows us opportunities to care for our insides and work to smooth them from their ridges. 

I am so grateful to the congregation for my sabbatical time because it was restful and I was able to put my work to the side.  And because of that rest, I am less stressed.  I can feel the difference on the inside, and how much smoother I am.  I feel how much more ready I am to face the challenges of this holy work because I rested, recalibrated my baseline, and reset my spirit.  Shabbat gives us that opportunity every week.  We have to be willing to care for ourselves and take the opportunities given to us.

           We spend so much time over these Days of Awe thinking about cheshbon hanefesh, the accounting of our souls.  This is meant to be a personal ledger of our deeds, so that we can reflect and turn toward better choices where needed.  In addition to cheshbon hanefesh, I’d like to suggest that today, we add one more accounting.  On top of the bad deeds and good deeds today, we ought to also engage in a cheshbon haneshamah, an accounting of our spirits.  A mental health inventory, or self-check.  And, like today’s atonement and teshuvah, this is not a one-day-a-year activity.  Today sets the example.

Now, let me be clear, this is not about diagnosing anything.  This is about checking in with yourself to see how everything is feeling.  If you need to, do it once a month in the shower when you check for cancer.  And like that cancer check, if something feels off kilter, like it has changed from the month before, it is probably time to consult someone who is a professional.  And this is how we need to think about mental health, like all other health.  It’s ok to get help when something is wrong.  It doesn’t make us weak.  It doesn’t make us less than others.  It makes us healthier.

           So, let’s do it together, now.  Close your eyes if you need to.

           Over the last month:^[4]

           How has my sleeping been?  Have I been sleeping more than usual?  Have I had a hard time getting to sleep?  Do I feel motivated to get up every day?

           How has my eating been?  Have I lost my appetite?  Have I been seeking comfort in food?

           How have my relationships and interactions with others been?

           How has my temper been?

           Have I had trouble concentrating?

           Have I lost interest in things I normally find enjoyable?

 

           Any one of these for a few days, or on occasion, is usually nothing to worry about.  Sometimes we feel sad or anxious.  Sometimes we are dealing with grief or trauma.  Feelings like these are good and normal reactions to the realities of life.  But, if you sense a difference in yourself, your habits, or your routines, and if you notice that it’s lasting for more than two weeks at a time, it’s something to notice and mention to your doctor, or your partner, or your parent, or your child, or your friend, or your rabbi or cantor.  That is part of what we are here for.  No, I am not a mental health professional.  But you know me, hopefully trust me, and you know, especially now, that I do not judge and that I only seek to make sure you get the right resources.  We are lucky as well that our Executive Director, Eileen, is a Licensed Social Worker.  If you’d feel more comfortable with one person over another, that’s ok.  The point is that you say something to someone before it becomes a crisis.

It’s up to us all to check on each other, too.  Ask your friends and family how they are doing.  If you notice your partner or your child staying in bed more than usual, or foregoing things they like to do, ask questions and seek help together or on their behalf.

Our tradition understands that there is a connection between the mind and body.  At the very beginning of our service, we opened with two blessings.  One was for our bodies, recognizing that the body is fragile and a delicate system.  If something doesn’t work as it’s supposed to, we wouldn’t be able to stand before God.  The second is for the soul, our neshamah.  While our ancestors did not in this blessing include language recognizing that our souls, even in their Divinely-given perfection, can be troubled, we know and understand this to be the case.

           Nothing can be made smooth without work.  If your insides feel rough, it’s time to say something.  On this day when we recognize that we will have a hard time keeping our promises, as we sang in our Kol Nidre, let us promise to do better when it comes to our mental health and wellbeing.  Let us promise to check in with ourselves and our loved ones.  Let us promise not to judge others who are struggling.  And let us promise to give our insides the attention they need.  Let us turn toward becoming a community that cares about mental health and healing for the mind, the body, and the soul.

G’mar Chatimah Tovah.

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[1] https://www.samhsa.gov/mental-health

[2] https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/what-is-mental-illness and others

[3] BT Yoma 75a

[4] These questions are based on a list of symptoms to watch for from the National Institute of Mental Health: https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/caring-for-your-mental-health

Kol Nidre 5784: A Life of Awe

 A version of this sermon was delivered on Kol Nidre at Temple B'nai Torah - A Reform Congregation, Wantagh, NY on Kol Nidre 5784.

           The time I spent at glass school this summer spanned two Shabbats.  On both of them, I made a point to go and pray.  There I was, on Friday night, following a road into the woods, past all the cabins, looking for a place with a great overlook of the sound below.  One thing I neglected to take into account, unfortunately, is that I was on the West Coast, so unlike our Shabbat on the beach, I was going to have to pray with my back to the beautiful view.  The water is on the wrong side of the land out there...  Luckily, the view of the tall trees is equally majestic.

           So, I found a place.  And, having scoped it out in advance, I knew I had a view of the water below and the skies above.  I knew I was surrounded by trees older than anyone I would ever know, towering into the heavens above.  And I also remembered that the mystics in Sefat would greet Shabbat on a cliff, overlooking the Mediterranean, watching the sun set, facing west, so I prayed Kabbalat Shabbat facing the water, and then turned to the east when I got to Barechu. 

The spot I picked had light that filtered through it and shone in a color I had never seen in light before.  An orange, amber glow, soft and ethereal.  I stood in that light, deep in prayer, I basked in God’s creation, and I made my way to the Psalm for Shabbat.

           I adjusted my tallit and I continued.

           Mizmor shir l’yom haShabbat, tov l’hodot l’Adonai!

           A song, a psalm for the Sabbath day, it is good to praise Adonai.

           I’m in the right place for it.  I’ve got the right view.

           It’s just me and God, so I’m singing out fully into the woods, over the cliff, my prayers hovering over the waters like the primordial spirit of God, making their way to the heavens, and all around me.  If someone had come upon me, I’m not sure what they would have thought.  But they would have seen me swaying to the rhythms of the prayers from my heart and soul, my fringes sweeping the underbrush.  They would have heard me, passionate and off pitch, praising God’s creation.

           Mah gadlu ma’asecha Adonai!

           How wonderful are your creations, Adonai!

           And finally, I understood the psalmist.  I knew where King David found the inspiration for these words.  I felt it.  I saw myself as ever so small under these giant, extraordinary trees, and even smaller compared to God and the universe.  I felt the light slipping away as the Earth turned toward its day of rest.

           Tzaddik katamar yifrach, ke’erez balvanon yisgeh.

           The righteous flourish like a palm, they shall thrive like the cedars of Lebanon. 

           The last words of the psalm exited my mouth, and I was still, tall trees towering above and around me.  It was quiet.  I took a deep breath.  Woah.  I was in awe.  I allowed myself to dwell in that moment, to bask in that awe, to let it wash over me like the amber light of the evening.  And soon I felt my face form into a smile, almost a laugh really, as I was overcome with a sense of the Divine, with a new understanding of awe.

I gotta tell you.  I felt like the Baal Shem Tov or Nachman of Bratzlav, communing with God in the woods.  It was freeing.  It was intimate.  It was personal.  It was expansive.  It was awesome.

           We call these the Days of Awe.  What do we mean when we say this word?  According to Dr. Dacher Keltner at Berkeley, “Awe is the feeling of being in the presence of something vast that transcends your current understanding of the world.”[1]  Awe is an experience.  Awe is about opening up to something more.  On our calendar, these are the Days of Awe because we are supposed to open ourselves up, especially on Yom Kippur, to an experience of awe.  We are supposed to open ourselves to God, to possibility, to the community around us.  We are supposed to walk away from this 25-hour fast changed by that awe.

Awe makes us stop and say “woah.”  Literally.  A vocal expression of awe is among the most universally understood sounds.  It doesn’t matter where a person is from in the world, nine out of ten times, they will understand: “oooh,” “ahhh,” “wow,” and “woah.”  Anthropologists and linguists believe that as early as 100,000 years ago, our ancestors, before language had even been invented, were declaring their awe with a “woah.”[2]  Awe is at the core of what it means to be a human in this world.

In English, awe comes to us from the old Norse word agi.[3]  This word referred to fear, dread, horror, and terror.  In Hebrew, the origin of the term awe is similar.  We use the word awe to translate the word yirah, which is the same word in the Bible as fear.  Yira gives us the word Norah, like yamim nora’im, literally the days of awe.  We hear the word in Un’taneh Tokef, which describes the holiness of this day as awesome and full of dread.

One famous use of this verb we heard at Rosh HaShanah, on Moriah.  When the messenger of God stays Abraham’s hand, the rationale given is that now God knows that Abraham is “yirei Elohim.”[4]  So, which does it mean?  Is Abraham afraid of God, or in awe of God?  Well, there’s certainly beauty in thinking that it can mean both.  And on this day when we come face to face with God’s judgment and God’s mercy, it makes sense that fear and awe comingle. 

We often think of awe as stemming from an encounter with something big, grand, and overwhelming.  It sounds frightening.  The truth is that awe and fear share similar reactions but are actually not really near each other on the spectrum of human emotions.  Even though our language often puts fear and awe next to each other, our experiences don’t.  When plotted with other emotional experiences in a controlled experiment, subjects placed awe closer to admiration, joy, and aesthetic appreciation and far from fear, horror, and anxiety.[5] 

What’s the difference if at that moment on Moriah Abraham fears God or is in awe of God?  Fear can represent coercion.  Awe implies devotion.  If Abraham brought his son to the mountain out of fear, it means something entirely different than if he did so due to his awe of God.  Abraham’s relationship with God is one of awe, of being present with something that transcends the world.  And, if that’s Abraham’s relationship with God, that should be our relationship with God as well, for Abraham sets the model for us.  We are inheritors of awe!

           Awe makes us blurt out an “Amen.”  Awe makes us take a beat, take a moment, take it all in. 

           What is it that elicits awe?  What experiences cause us to have no choice but to instinctively declare: “Woah!”?  According to Dr. Keltner’s research, there are eight wonders of life that lead to an experience of awe. 

           We might think that most people, when prompted to describe a moment of experiencing awe, would relate something like the story I began with, a story of beauty in nature, or prayer.  But in actuality, the most prevalent source of awe was what Dr. Keltner describes as moral beauty:[6] experiencing other people’s courage, kindness, strength, or overcoming.  More than anything else, participants described witnessing another person channeling their better angels.  We elicit awe from others when we live lives of courage, kindness and strength.

           A second wonder of life is what Emile Durkheim called collective effervescence, where we feel like we’re buzzing or crackling with some life force that merges people into a collective self, a tribe, an oceanic “we.”[7]  Think of the wave at a football game.  You see it coming, you anticipate it, and collectively all around you, so does everyone else.  And when the undulating mass of humans makes its way toward your section, you join in, lift your arms and body and sit back down.  You were a small part in something much bigger.

           Third on this list is nature.  The fourth wonder is music.  It’s no wonder Taylor Swift concerts have yielded such a response.  The fifth is visual design.  The sixth wonder has to do with moments of deep spirituality.  The seventh with experiences of life and death, particularly birth moments and death moments.  The last wonder is the experience of an epiphany.

           All of these call us to moments when we see ourselves as part of something more.  All of these allow us to move away from our ego.  To sense more than ourselves.  To discover how we fit into that something more.  But awe is not a bingo card to fill out.  It’s not about collecting all eight to get to awe.  It only takes one moment in any category to feel awe.  It only takes one moment to take our breath away, to give us goosebumps, to wow us.

           All of Yom Kippur, if we allow it to be, can lead us to these wonders of life.  When we all chant together and beat our chests in unison at our great acrostic confessional, we feel that collective effervescence.  When our friends and family work hard to atone and to apologize and when we, also, make efforts to overcome our pride and find contrition: these can be moments of moral beauty for us and others.  We gather together in community for prayer.  We intone ancient melodies and words.  We implore God in moments of spiritual dedication.  The music of these services is grand and powerful.  We are called to consider our lives and come face to face with our mortality.  We invoke the memories of those we’ve lost.  We hopefully, by the end of the day, will come to some realization of who we hope to be in this next year. 

This whole day, Yom Kippur, HaYom, The Day, is an exercise in providing us moments of awe.  You may not blurt out a “woah” after the Vidui.  But if you take a moment to appreciate that hundreds of us here together, millions of Jews around the world, are all coming together to say these words on this day, the beating on your chest may take on a different feeling, especially if you open yourself up to it!  Our sins may be an alphabet of woe, but our worship is meant to be an acrostic of wow!

           Our ancestors, both ancient and more recent, put together this day of awe and passed it down to us.  And so there must be a point to it.  The reason, though, is not awe.  Awe is not the end goal.  Rather it’s what awe does for us.  Among other reactions, awe can make us less self-centered, ready to see the world differently, and more giving.

           In experiments conducted on awe and its effects, Dr. Keltner discovered that people who had experiences of awe and were then asked to take a selfie made themselves smaller in the photo than folks who did not have an awe experience.[8]  There was proportionally more background in the selfies of folks in awe.  Awe leads to a “small self.”  People who felt awe practiced tzimtzum, contraction, a divinely inspired quality of making space for others.  If we make space for others, we consider their opinion and we may be ready to reconcile. 

           Awe also undoes what psychologists call our default self, the part of us which focuses on how we distinguish ourselves from others, makes us competitive creatures, and helps us to achieve our goals.[9]  Modern society prioritizes this default self.  Awe is here to help us move toward our more communal natures, to remind us that while the self is important, it’s not the only thing; we’re part of something more, something greater.  Awe leads us to a more interdependent, collaborative understanding of the world.  More balance.  “We sense that we are part of a chapter in the history of a family, a community, a culture.”[10] 

In another experiment, participants were asked to help make paper cranes[11] for victims of the 2011 tsunami in Japan.  Those who had an awe-filled experience just before the request stayed longer and made more cranes than those who did not experience awe.  Awe can make us more giving and willing to offer our time.

It is awe that leads us to teshuvah, tefillah, and tzedakah.  It is awe that can help us to temper judgment’s severe decree, if only we let it!  Our traditions place before us a smorgasbord of awe on this day: from the Kol Nidre with its call to the heavenly court, to the reenactment of the service of the High Priest, to the story of Jonah who survives in the belly of a fish for three days, to the open aron tomorrow, as the sun is setting, and we rush to get our prayers in before the gates close and we usher God into the heavens with the last, long shofar blast.  Yom Kippur is a day of awe whose goal is that we make ourselves smaller, more communal, and more giving.

Awe makes us see the world differently.  Awe allows us to see what we don’t know, and to realize that we don’t know everything.  An experience of awe can be fleeting.  It’s also true that awe begets awe.  The more awe we experience, the richer it gets.[12]  Folks who went on an awe walk once a week over eight weeks found that their experience of awe increased over time, not decreased due to repetition as you might expect.  Awe begets awe.

Yom Kippur calls us therefore not to a day of awe, or ten, but to a lifetime of awe!  The awe we can feel over these 25 hours is meant to be taken with us so that we can live a life of awe.  A life where we value others.  A life where we see ourselves as part of a community.  A life where we give of ourselves.  A life where we do not believe we know everything.  A life where we see ourselves not at the center, but as part of something more, connected to others and to God.

The sun set on my prayer in those Washington woods.  The amber light faded.  The darkness descended upon me.  I took off and folded my tallit and trekked back to my cabin, reflecting on the experience feeling like I was reflecting God’s light. 

In 23 hours, the sun will set on our Yom Kippur prayers.  We’ll fold our tallits; we’ll put away the red books until next year.  But the awe will stay with us if we let it change us.

Our tradition gives us this day of awe to teach us to live a lifetime of awe.

 

G’mar Chatimah Tovah. 

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[1] Keltner, Dacher PhD.  Awe: The Transformative Power of Everyday Wonder. 2023; Allen Lane. p 7

[2] Keltner. p 58

[3] Ibid. p 19

[4] Genesis 22:12

[5] Keltner. p 21

[6] Keltner 11

[7] Ibid p 13

[8] Ibid p 34

[9] Ibid p 34

[10] Ibid p 37

[11] Ibid p 41

[12] Ibid p 106